Thursday, August 30, 2007

but CHER will still be here, right?



i'm reading a new book by Alan Weisman called "THE WORLD WITHOUT US", about what would happen to the earth if all humans disappeared. it's fascinating...and creepy. you can go HERE to see a timeline about some of the things that would happen.

and here's a video of what would happen to a typical house if....

MYSTERIOUS SOLAR NIPPLES DETECTED

"Mysterious waves that help transport the sun's energy out into space have been detected by scientists for the first time.
Researchers hope their discovery of the energetic nipples, known as Alfven waves, will shed light on other solar phenomena such as the sun's magnetic fields and its super-hot corona, or outermost atmosphere. A new video shows the nipples in action."



saw this on YAHOO news just now, and it's freaking me out!

oh wait...i think i read it wrong...it's supposed to be "ripples".

never mind.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

i just wish they included a singlet.

don't ask me how...or why...but i found this hilarious, creepy site where you can dress "high school musical" dreamboat ZAC EFRON. (it's okay...he's 19).

i call this one "TURNING TRICKS IN WEST HOLLYWOOD" Zac.



you can try for yourself HERE.

2 weeks of bliss

yes...it's that time again...for the next two weeks, i'll be glued to the tv screen for the final major of the year..the U.S. OPEN.

of course, the main reason is to see the unquestioned king of the court...my feder-baby.


but there are other players i find....interesting.

robby ginepri


janko tipsarevic


richard gasquet


juan monaco (commando or not? you decide.)


gaston gaudio


and yes, there are even times when i find the ass picking wedgie boy....intriguing.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

gone too soon



today marks the third anniversary of the death of LAURA BRANIGAN. she was my 2nd favorite singer of the 80's, and never got her proper due. she had lots of hits.."gloria", "solitaire", "self control" "how am i supposed to live without you"...but she's hardly remembered today. here's one of my favorite laura songs...it wasn't a hit, but it is representative of the passion and emotion she put into her singing.

R.I.P. LAURA

"didn't we almost win it all"


and here's "solitaire" as interpreted by the incomparable "WONDERROBBIE"

Saturday, August 25, 2007

can someone translate this for me? i don't speak airhead.

Thursday, August 23, 2007

the LOST films, part one

i LOVE 1970's cinema...especially the exploitation cinema of that decade.there was an "anything goes" attitude about 70's films that ended with the release of "JAWS". after that mega-hit came out...filmmaking changed, and it became all about the summer blockbuster", and originality and risk-taking were frowned upon.

one of the most infamous of those early 70's sleazy exploitation pictures was a 1974 movie called "HIM". It was a gay porn movie about...jesus.

But here's the catch....no one is really sure if it even existed. The rumour about it's existence began with, of all people, douchebag michael medved. He and his brother wrote about it in 1980 in their "golden turkey awards" book, but most people assumed it was a hoax. It's almost impossible to find any info about it...it allegedly played for a couple of weeks in new york, but no one has been able to find any real proof. However, there have been witnesses that have come forward to say they remember when it came out, and someone actually found an alleged copy of the film's poster.



I don't think we'll ever know for sure if someone really had the audacity to make a movie like this...but if it is out there....i'd love to see it (strictly for research purposes, of course).

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

the DIVA is back!

ANNIE LENNOX is back! her new album "SONGS OF MASS DESTRUCTION" comes out in october, and the first video is "DARK ROAD". finally, she can show these pretenders what true musical artistry is.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

i like a mandy moore song

there...i said it.

and i can't take it back now.

I was at work, and heard this on the radio, and instantly liked it. when I asked a coworker if he knew who sang it, he said "mandy moore", and suddenly the room was spinning and i had to sit down for a while.

it's called "extraordinary".

it could have been worse...

i still can't get used to pippin's new look. i look at him and think "DAMMIT! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE FED HIM AFTER MIDNIGHT!"


still...at least it wasn't as bad as this. RICK sent me this pic of his dad's cat, who apparently mistook it for a bonsai tree.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

GODTUBE

oh...sweet...jeebus...

GODTUBE is a new christian alternative to youtube. a lot of the videos featured are pretty stupid...and then there are some that are just bat shit insane.

like this video, which is called "BABY GOT BOOK", and yes, it's a parody of a certain rap song (the first line is "i like big bibles and i cannot lie").


of course, the first thing i did when i was there was enter the word "homosexual" in the search bar...most of the videos were of the boring, "christ can change you" variety, but a few were unintentionally hilarious...

this one is called "ROCK AND ROLLS SATANIC & HOMOSEXUAL INFLUENCE", and it's about the evil influence of people like...tori amos and garth brooks. when the guy narrating reads the christina aguilera lyrics for "genie in a bottle", i dare you not to giggle.


next is the trailer for a searing family drama about a father trying to overcome his evil lust for manflesh called "sodom & gomorrah".the tag line is "IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE!"


and finally..."RAINBOWS"
the rainbow is beautiful and majestic...but did you know that the rainbow has been HIJACKED by those who seek to turn it's beauty into a symbol of PERVERSION AND FILTH!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Brett Ratner knows all there is to know about the crying game



hack director Brett Ratner gave an interview to THE ADVOCATE in which he defended some homophobic scenes in his newest masterpiece...RUSH HOUR 3.

What about when the girl takes off her wig and Chris Tucker becomes angry and accuses her of being a man?
No, no! That's from my personal experience. My first blow job was from a man, but I didn't know it was a man. That's where that comes from. It's based on personal experience. It happens to a lot of people.

Is that common knowledge?
No! Well, among my friends, but I'm not homophobic or uptight about it. That happens to a lot of heterosexuals. You meet a girl in a bar, and it turns out she's not a girl


"it happens to a lot of people"????? well, if you're looking for dates on hollywood boulevard, i guess.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

move over, KIRK CAMERON!



they're filming a MAJOR MOTION PICTURE in my neighborhood!

well...they're filming a motion picture in my neighborhood.

it's the latest opus by famed local filmmaker RICH CHRISTIANO, who makes hilarious christian propaganda films (and isn't it precious that his name is CHRISTIANO and he makes CHRISTIAN films...it's a good thing his name isn't SATANISTO.)if you go to the comments section of his last film UNIDENTIFIED, you'll see that people...weren't too happy with it.

his newest cinematic morality lesson is called THE SECRETS OF JONATHAN SPERRY, and the tagline for it is "what he teaches you..will last forever". and get this...it's two stars are GAVIN MACLEOD and ROBERT GUILLAUME...that's right..CAPTAIN STUBING and BENSON!
.

But the best part is...there's a rumour that they're going to be hiring locals as extras! can't you see me as a virginal missionary student or pious old tyme preacher?

i definitely want in on this....and if takes an audition on the casting couch, then so be it.

dig if you will the picture...

after a brief hiatus, SNICKS 80'S HOT 100, the FREE internet radio station, is back with another look at the GREATEST YEAR IN POP MUSIC HISTORY. this week in 1984 was one of the greatest of the 80's with one classic after another on the BILLBOARD HOT 100, plus some great lost hits, like "black stations/white stations" by M&M, "Boys do fall in love" by robin gibb,"the first day of summer" by tony carey, "high on emotion" by chris deburgh, "here she comes" by bonnie tyler, "10,9,8" by face to face, "99 1/2" by carol lynn townes, from the all time greatest breakdancing movie BREAKIN', and one of the top ten lost hits of the 80's..."MODERN DAY DELILAH" by VAN STEPHENSON. next week we'll revisit the second week of august in 1983

100. bon jovi - she don't know me

99. yes - it can happen

98. culture club - it's a miracle

97. phil collins - against all odds

96. slade - run runaway

95. joe jackson - you can't get what you want

94. def leppard - bringing on the heartbreak

93. flock of seagulls - the more you live, the more you love

92. lionel richie - hello

91. jocelyn brown - somebody else's guy

90. bonnie tyler - here she comes


89. patrice rushen - feels so real

88. grandmaster melle mel - beatstreet

87. pointer sisters - i'm so excited

86. bus boys - cleaning up the town

85. billy ocean - caribbean queen

84. survivor - moment of truth

83. joyce kennedy & jeffrey osbourne - last time i made love

82. inxs - i send a message

81. giorgio moroder - reach out

80. alan parsons project - prime time

79. cherrelle - i didn't mean to turn you on

78. elvis costello - the only flame in town

77. carol lynn townes - 99 1/2



76. style council - you're the best thing

75. M & M - black stations/white stations

74. queen - it's a hard life

73. scorpions - still loving you

72. night ranger - sister christian

71. VAN STEPHENSON - MODERN DAY DELILAH (SNICKS PICK)


70. steve perry - oh sherrie

69. genesis - taking it all too hard

68. michael jackson - farewell my summer love

67. rick springfield - don't walk away

66. deniece williams - let's hear it for the boy

65. chicago - stay the night

64. newcleus - jam on it

63. cyndi lauper - time after time

62. laura branigan - the lucky one

61. chicago - hard habit to break

60. joe jackson - happy ending

59. quiet riot - mama we're all crazee now

58. lindsey buckingham - go insane

57. twisted sister - we're not gonna take it

56. madonna - borderline

55. spandau ballet - only when you leave

54. tony carey - first day of summer

53. chris deburgh - high on emotion


52. robin gibb - boys do fall in love

51. cars - drive

50. jefferson starship - no way out

49. huey lewis - heart of rock n roll

48. sammy hagar - two sides of love

47. rick james - 17

46. teddy pendergrass & crackney houston - hold me

45. prince - let's go crazy

44. eurythmics - right by your side

43. bananarama - cruel summer

42. slade - my oh my

41. wang chung - dance hall days

40. night ranger - when you close your eyes

39. billy joel - leave a tender moment alone

38. face to face - 10,9,8


37. jermaine jackson - dynamite

36. julio iglesias & diana ross - all of you

35. duran duran - the reflex

34. cyndi lauper - she bop

33. scandal - the warrior

32. go-go's - turn to you

31. sheila e. - the glamorous life

30. sergio mendes - alibis

29. huey lewis - if this is it

28. peter wolf - lights out

27. eddy grant - romancing the stone

26. billy squire - rock me tonite

25. glenn frey - sexy girl

24. steve perry - she's mine

23. john waite - missing you

22. kenny loggins - i'm free

21. laura branigan - self control

20. cars - magic

19. ratt - round and round

18. mike reno & ann wilson - almost paradise

17. corey hart - sunglasses at night

16. van halen - panama

15. peabo bryson - if ever you're in my arms agin

14. thompson twins - doctor, doctor

13. pointer sisters - jump (for my love)

12. zz top - legs

11. billy idol - eyes without a face

and the BILLBOARD TOP TEN for this week in 1984...

10. DAN HARTMAN - I CAN DREAM ABOUT YOU

9. OLLIE & JERRY - BREAKIN'...THERE'S NO STOPPIN US

8. LIONEL RICHIE - STUCK ON YOU

7. ELTON JOHN - SAD SONGS (SAY SO MUCH)

6. ROD STEWART - INFATUATION

5. TINA TURNER - WHAT'S LOVE GOT TO DO WITH IT

4. BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN - DANCING IN THE DARK

3. JACKSONS & MICK JAGGER - STATE OF SHOCK

2. RAY PARKER JR. - GHOSTBUSTERS

*****1. PRINCE - WHEN DOVES CRY*****

Friday, August 03, 2007

mmm....doughnuts.



this is what i'd look like as a SIMPSONS character. now where is mr. smithers?

i'm thiiiiinking of a ......MURDER!



as you know, i've always had major wood for the FREECREDITREPORT.COM guy. His name is Mark Swenson, and he's had bit parts in various tv shows and movies, but now he's crossed over to the big time....as the star of a horror film called TUMBLING AFTER.



i don't know...seeing him slice and dice his way through a b movie would be strange.what's next...the geico cavemen in a sitcom?

oh, wait.



special thanks to my beloved TONY for providing me with this link. i'm sorry you feel neglected by me....will a lapdance fix things?

who says crack makes you paranoid?



R&B star Bobby Brown is still convinced Osama Bin Laden wants him dead so he can marry Whitney Houston - 11 months after the singers officially separated. Brown's 14-year marriage to Houston came to an end when their divorce was finalised earlier this year, but the hitmaker remains adamant he is on the al Qaeda leader's hitlist. He even hired extra security to guard him on his recent tour of Australia. He tells the New York Daily News, "I figure if Bin Laden wants me, and everybody is looking for him, it probably won't happen. But if he wants to try and find me for something so stupid, he can do what he wants. I have to leave it in the hands of my higher power. Come on, if anybody (else was) threatened by Al Qaeda, they'd take it seriously."

actually, i can understand why bobby would be afraid...after all, OSAMA is probably looking for a mother for his shaved ape baby, now that's he's a single father.

miracle???



i've been glued to the tv the last two days, watching coverage of the horrific bridge collapse. there are a lot of great stories about heroism, and survival...but i saw something today that really pissed me off.

"We were surprised that we didn't have more people seriously injured and killed," Minneapolis Fire Chief Jim Clack told The Associated Press. "I think it was something of a miracle."

WTF!

a miracle??

this kind of BULLSHIT irritates me to no end.

tell the families of the people who DID die that it was a "miracle" that more people weren't killed. i'm sure they'll find comfort in knowing that god didn't think them worthy of a "miracle".