a blast from the past

From the "where are they now" files, comes this update about jan-michael gambill. he was a semi-successful tennis star back in the 90's and early 00's. he won three titles, got to the quarterfinals of Wimbledon (taking a set from Pete Sampras), and was once ranked #14 in the world. he was also heavily rumoured to be gay, but one thing's for sure...he was (and still is) gorgeous. Haven't heard anything about him in years, but just came across THIS. At least he's putting those heavenly eyes and abs to good use!

Presenting...THE GAY GUIDE TO SEX AND THE CITY!

my latest AfterElton article is up. In case you haven't heard (for instance, if you've been hiding under a rock...in a cave...on Mars), the movie opens Friday, and AfterElton decided to take a look at some of the show's gayest moments. TAKE A LOOK!

jeez...she could at least inject some collagen.

These are "professional" impersonators. If I hired an impersonator, and one of these people showed up, i'd be highly pissed.

Brangelina...okay, c'mon. neither of these people like brad or angelina. how the hell do you get out of angelina lookalike school without puffy lips?



Britney...yeah, this looks like britney spears...in 40 years.



Johnny Depp - or the man your mother told you never to talk to?

THE GODDESS IS BORN!

60 years ago today....the goddess of rock was brought into the world. let us take a moment to reflect on everything she has meant to the world. happy birthday, goddess!

YOU UNIMAGINABLE BASTARD!

DON'T DIS SHEENA!

Some douchebag doesn't want Pop goddess Sheena to perform for her gay fans in Scotland....

The article quoted Glasgay! producer Steven Taylor as saying, "As far as I’m concerned, she is pretty much a washed-up has-been."
Taylor continued, "We have a very young funky audience who, to be frank, are into much cooler acts than Sheena Easton."
Added Taylor, whose Glasgay! event is the largest gay festival I Scotland, "The idea that we would ask her to come back and perform in Glasgow is completely laughable."
Taylor went on, "Gay audiences do love their ageing divas, but I think Sheena Easton is pushing things too far."
Added Taylor, "In Scotland straight and gay audiences both tend not to like people who go away, change their accent and lose complete touch with their roots.
"I’m very sorry, Sheena, but your invitation to come back to Glasgow is not likely to be sent out any time soon," said Taylor

First of all...he named his event "glasgay", which is eye-rollingly stupid. Secondly, he talks about a "young, funky audience"....which means they probably like plastic props like Beyonce, and wouldn't know a real singer. Thirdly...the guy's a dick.

For your eyes only, here are my three favorite Sheena songs.

3. STRUT


2. MODERN GIRL


AND MY FAVORITE SHEENA SONG

I've got chills...they're multiplying

I hate being sick on weekends. It's just not fair. If a day has to be ruined, then make it...tuesday, not saturday. Actually, both friday and saturday were horrific, and a little scary.
Late friday afternoon, i started feeling...chills. nothing out of the ordinary, it has been a little cool here, so i didn't think anything of it.
Until the chills continued...and wouldn't stop...and got worse.
I wrapped a comforter around myself, but it didn't help.
I brought the space heater out of storage, and turned it on full blast...it didn't help.
I just sat here, continuously shivering, when PHASE 2 started.
I couldn't focus my eyes.
I started feeling dizzy.
i threw up.
this lasted all of friday night. I went to bed late friday , and slept on and off through most of saturday.
It was a strange and new experience...moving in and out of consciousness (you explain it to them, magnolia).
Thankfully, it seems to be over.

I don't know how it started...if it was a virus, or food poisoning...or maybe the salmonella i was handling friday morning? nah, that's unlikely

who wants to take road trip to Cali with me?

I have a hankering for wedding cake.

THE GREATEST VIDEOGAME AD YOU WILL EVER SEE! (NSFW)

click HERE, then click on the pic to make it...bigger.

*hint...he's all thumbs

PRESENTING...THE TOP TEN SOFT ROCK HITS OF THE 70's (LADIES EDITION!)

Yes...it's time for another music list post. In honor of Mother's Day, I decided to compile my choices of the ten greatest soft rock songs of the 70's by female artists. I chose to stay away from the greatest stars of the decade, Barbra, Livvy, Carly, Linda, etc. and give ten other women a chance, and these are all solo artists, so you won't see The Carpenters or Abba or a certain Goddess. And i know what you're thinking..Snicks, where is "You light up my life", from Debby Boone? Well, i decided to disqualify her because her father is such a lunatic freak.

Now..feel the love...enjoy the warm flow of estrogen as it saps every last bit of testosterone and leaves your balls the size of raisins.

Click on the title to see the clip

10. MARY MCGREGOR - TORN BETWEEN TWO LOVERS

This song caused a bit of controversy when it was first released. It was SHOCKING that a woman would be so public about her affair. Mary must have still have been stunned when she gave this television performance...how else to explain the vacant, Frances Farmer-esque look in her eyes.

9. MARIA MULDAUR - MIDNIGHT AT THE OASIS

I can't listen to this song without thinking of Fred Willard and Catherine O'Hara hilariously massacring it in "Waiting For Guffman", and i can't think of Maria's other hit "I'm A Woman" without thinking of "ENJOLI" perfume. C'mon...you remember.."Cause I''m a woman...ENJOLI!"



8. MINNIE RIPPERTON - LOVIN YOU

Another song i can't hear without thinking of something else, specifically the classic SOUTH PARK episode "BIG GAY AL'S BIG GAY BOAT RIDE", with it used as the trigger for a bomb strapped to John Stamos's older brother (it's a long story). Minnie had a beautiful voice that was taken far too soon, R.I.P.



7. YVONNE ELLIMAN - IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU

My favorite song from Saturday Night Fever, well, tied with "more than a woman" and "how deep is your love".



6. VICKI LAWRENCE - THE NIGHT THE LIGHTS WENT OUT IN GEORGIA

Love this song...but for some reason i can't help thinking of a mean old blue haired woman singing it.


5. HELEN REDDY - ANGIE BABY

Just a little ditty about a psychotic teenage girl. The video is something spectacular...see how many phallic images you can count>

4. MAUREEN MCGOVERN - THE MORNING AFTER

The greatest movie theme song, from the greatest disaster movie of all time.



3. MELISSA MANCHESTER - DON'T CRY OUT LOUD

I LOVE MELISSA MANCHESTER! This was a touch choice, between this song and Melissa's "Through the eyes of love" from Ice Castles. I went with "Don't Cry Out Loud" because of this mind scarring clip from THE MUPPET SHOW.


2. SAMANTHA SANG - EMOTION

I love this song, but i'm still not entirely convinced it's not Robin Gibb in drag.


and my choice for the greatest soft rock hit of the 70;s (ladies edition)...


1. NICOLETTE LARSON - LOTTA LOVE

Another beautiful voice that was taken far too soon. This song just epitomizes for me the best of the 70's...a great vocal, horns...and flute! it doesn't get any better.

the origin story to end all origin stories

My secret has been discovered. Go

HERE for the story of Snicks.

remember those crazy old sisters who lived in the spooky house on the hill?

every town had them...the spinster old crones with the 40 cats. you'd see them in the supermarket and follow them around, as they spent 45 minutes picking a nectarine. sometimes they'd hire you to do yard work for them, and as you cut your hands to shreds ripping out the pricker bushes, you'd hear...strange noises coming from the cellar. you try telling yourself that it was just your imagination...but as you walk up those creaky porch steps to collect your payment, the faint moans grow louder.....

Attention, "Brothers & Sisters" fans!

Sunday's episode was a groundbreaking event, and it's the subject of my first official full length recap for AfterElton.

You can read it HERE.

PSYCHOTIC PEOPLE THROUGHOUT HISTORY, PART 2

Tricia Walsh Smith is one fabulously psycho jilted wife. They say that the eyes are the window to the soul...if that's the case, her soul is located on Main Street in CrazyTown.

PRESENTING....THE SNICKS FAMILY FUNTIME PLAYGROUND!

To show our support for our local community, my sisters and I decided to pool our resources, and open a family playground. If you're in the neighborhood, be sure to stop by with the kiddies! I hope everyone appreciates it...all of the attractions are based on memories from our childhood. (btw, i'm especially proud of the horse-hung man!)

speaking of busy beavers....

The fabulous Carly Simon has announced that she may have some lesbionic tendencies. When asked if she would join Cyndi Lauper's gay supportive TRUE COLORS tour, she said this...

The part that would be easiest for me would be singing on behalf of all of us. I don’t consider myself to be not gay… I mean, I’ve enlarged all of my possibilities. There are a lot of extremely personal stories to tell about that, but we won’t go into that right now. Let’s just say that it just depends upon who I’m with.”

Hmm....I know a one night stand with Mick Jagger can turn any woman gay, but that was forty years ago, so that's one hell of a delayed reaction.

here's Carly with her greatest song of the 80's.

I'M BAAAAACK!!!

I've been a busy beaver lately, but i'm back!

like it or not.....